Hula-hoops & Heartbreak

 

Well I am back in Gainesville, GA. I am here for a 5 week training course for missions with my team from Cambodia. There has been SO much going on and SO much to learn. I hope to update you as much as possible without overwhelming you. First of all, after training I will go back to Texas (mid-October until launching). I hope to move to Cambodia with my team in January, this will depend on my fundraising. I will be working, fund-raising, and seeing friends/family while I am home. Hopefully that answers a few questions before I get into one of the first lessons I have learned.

Our first week, we went camping around north Georgia including places on the Appalachian Trail.

 

I am thankful for the internet and pictures, because I was concentrating on breathing and not tripping over rocks. But my story starts even before the trail. Lots of team building is done on Ropes course. I think this is because people out of their ‘normal’ environment and it challenges them to think outside of the box. I have done ropes courses before and I have done World Race team building, but it was not in the woods of Dahlongega, Georgia nor with my Cambodia team and the Nepal team. This story starts with the 9 of us (Nepal and Cambodia teams) and 3 trainers traveling to a campground in Dahlongega in the rain. We did the ‘get to know you’ games and we had only just finished our second activity when it happened.

 

The week before my anxiety had been building like crazy, I had been home for maybe 2 weeks, gone back to work, tried to get into a normal routine, do a little fundraising all while trying to figure out what I needed for Georgia and training.  I knew the ‘bubble’ would ‘pop’ and I had no idea what it looked like or when it would happen. After the infamous hula-hoop activity is when it burst. The hula-hoop activity SOUNDS simple, but I have never completed it quickly with a team. You gather in a circle and hold your index fingers out for the hula-hoop to balance on, the goal is to lower the hoop to the ground. We did it during World Race Training Camp and it was a struggle there as well. When we started someone suggested we only needed one voice to direct us and somehow I was nominated – and I didn’t say no. (Lesson #1: sometimes you need to say no.) I wanted the challenge but probably wasn’t in a good place to accept it. In the rain and the cold, we began the activity. I am not sure why but the hoop always seems to go up and never down. I am not sure how long we worked on it, but it finally maybe hit the ground. After every activity we would debrief what went right, wrong, or what needed to change. All the feedback was good, but I took it on myself since I had been the leader. I could feel the bubble coming closer to popping. I felt like this girl:

 

 

The hula-hoop falls but she keeps going. And just like the hula-hoop falling, the tears came.

I hate crying in front of others. Hate it. I avoid it at all costs, but the tears wouldn’t stop. And even though we were in the woods, there was nowhere to hide. So I walked away and cried by myself. No one needed to hear or see that.

Why did it happen? Was there one thing that took me over the edge? Who knows. I just know all of a sudden my heart was broken (and in front of people!). I realized I am really planning on moving away for two years, literally half-way across the world, I am leaving my family, my friends, my favorite Tex-Mex food, and everything I know. I am not going alone, but at this time I had known my whole team for about 24 hours – not a long time to get to know someone. So I had a meltdown in the woods.

One of the trainers who I know consider a friend came over to speak into me. She left her family in Maine to do missions in Mexico and Peru for the last 12 ish years, so she knows the gamut of emotions and thoughts that come when one prepares to leave. (Lesson #2: there are wiser people you can go to for counsel when needed.)

Was it a bonding moment for my team? Maybe, probably. (Lesson #3: you are not in this alone, ‘this’ being life.)  It was definitely out of my comfort zone – way to go trainers. Did I learn some things from it? Of course. Did I jump back into the next activity? Not really, but my teammates rallied around me and we completed the activities for the day.

Barely 24 hours into training and already learning so much. We did high ropes and the Appalachian Trail during Week 1, so there are more lessons learned to share.

*I am still looking for individuals or families to join my support raising team. If you feel led to be a financial partner, you may donate online through the link to the left.*