Life is a Highway – My first 6 months in Cambodia
I don’t drive very far every day or even for very long, but I have memorized most of the potholes, turns, locations of stray dogs, intersections, and more. It has taken me the better part of six months, but I can make it most of the way to my destination without hitting all the potholes. These potholes aren’t just in the roads either, they are in my life.
For those in the US who are accustomed to nice, smooth, flat, mostly clear roads, this comparison may make you think my first six months have been easy and flown by; while those who have traveled/lived abroad or who drive down country dirt roads more often, may have a different idea in mind about my time here.
In my time here, I have learned to drive both automatic and semi-manual motos and purchased the latter from a friend. (You don’t have to share this part with my Granddad…) I vaguely remember learning to drive a car when I was younger. My mom took us into the country, where there were few to no people around and explained all we needed to know about driving: There would be driver’s ed books, videos, and tests. We would always require an adult in the car with us, despite everyone else in our small town knowing we were learning how to drive. And the make, model, and color of the car we drove. There were precautions, seatbelts, and traffic laws to learn, memorize, and become familiar with.
Learning to drive in Cambodia has been a little different. One friend taught me how to drive the automatic moto and would watch me drive little spurts here and there and another friend took me on a tour of the town to get my bearings. I took a tuktuk into town at first because I was too nervous to drive around that many people. In Cambodia there are only traffic suggestions, not laws. There are no seatbelts on motos, and the other drivers have no idea I just got to this country and may be a little wobbly as I drive.
When I learned to drive my semi-manual moto, I was super nervous about how it all worked. My friend gave me his key, explained what to do, and walked away – very different from when I first learned how to drive. I struggled a little distance down our (mostly empty) bumpy, dirt road and then had to go find him to ask some clarifying questions. Now, I drive comfortably (most of the time) and rarely have problems shifting.
(not my actual moto)
So, when I say ‘life is a highway’ here, it means there have been some bumps -big and small, potholes (that occasionally get filled), learning curves, and glimpses of a smooth ride.
Some days I am running into the same potholes of life by not meeting the high expectations I place on myself with work and language expertise. There are the rare days where I see and celebrate my small success and feel like I have successfully navigated around the potholes.
Some days, no matter how hard I try to avoid them, I hit seemingly every bump in the road. There are days when I drive through black exhaust from the large trucks in front of me or that I’m passing. While I try not to breathe it in and shower often, sometimes a cloud of darkness just seems to hover over me. This is sometimes in the form of literal dust, or anxiety, or past hurts I allow myself to sit in.
Some days, everyone- and I mean everyone- passes me on the road – even kids who look way too young to drive, fly by! Motos, trucks, busses, and bikes just whiz by or make their own lane through traffic to get wherever they are going. There are, on very rare days, where I am the one passing people, but usually it is short lived and they all pass back by. We all travel at our own speed through life and what it hands us.
I have learned to ALWAYS yield to anything bigger than you, including motos with 3+ people or livestock that happen to be in the area. However, if you are in a cluster of 3 or more motos, you are then larger than the trucks, and therefore have the right of way. While there are many times and ways you can get somewhere alone, sometimes it is easier to ‘tackle’ larger obstacles with others.
My straight, smooth roads are days where I am able to fully breathe and rest. These are days were most things go well, small successes in language class, and understanding between the Khmer staff and myself.
During my six months in Cambodia, I have learned a lot and yet nothing at all. A few things that are always important:
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Prayer (seems so simple but is yet so powerful)
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Intentionally setting aside time with God (I take on the day/traffic with more joy and peace if I have spent time with Him)
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The roads of life are never perfect. When you think you have it figured out, another turn/pothole/dog will be there with more opportunities to learn.
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Always, ALWAYS, wear a helmet.
