Definition
- : care for oneself (www.m-w.com)
- : any necessary human regulatory function which is under individual control, deliberate and self-initiated in health care (wikipedia)
- : The practice of taking action to preserve or improve one’s own health in particular during periods of stress. (en.oxforddictionaries.com)
Self-care seems to be a pretty simple concept. Everyone practices self-care daily, whether you are aware of it or not. It includes simple tasks like hygiene, illness prevention (vitamins, vaccines, and other medicines,) etc – basically take care of yourself.
However, I have noticed in the last few years more and more people using the world ‘self-care,’ especially in regards to mental health. In a quick Google search, I found these interesting facts about mental health in the US:
-
1 in 5 Adults have a mental health condition. That’s over 40 million Americans; more than the populations of New York and Florida combined.
-
Youth mental health is worsening. Rates of youth with severe depression increased from 5.9% in 2012 to 8.2% in 2015. Even with severe depression, 76% of youth are left with no or insufficient treatment
-
Most Americans are suffering from moderate to high stress, with 44% reporting that their stress levels have increased over the past five years.
Stress is definitely prevalent in our society. Personally, I feel technology and the use of social media have a lot to do with the growing amount of stress. I also think most people have forgotten who they really need to take care of – themselves. Somehow, taking care of yourself has become selfish in many ways – which is completely untrue. I was recently listening to a podcast on Self-Care and Rest (summary: Americans don’t do enough of it) and they referenced the in-flight safety demonstration given by flight attendants give about oxygen masks.
Oxygen and the air pressure are always being monitored. In the event of a decompression, an oxygen mask will automatically appear in front of you. To start the flow of oxygen, pull the mask towards you. Place it firmly over your nose and mouth, secure the elastic band behind your head, and breathe normally. Although the bag does not inflate, oxygen is flowing to the mask. If you are travelling with a child or someone who requires assistance, secure your mask on first, and then assist the other person. Keep your mask on until a uniformed crew member advises you to remove it.
They tell you to put YOUR oxygen mask on first, not your child’s, spouse’s, friend’s – yours. Why? Well depending on your altitude, you have 20-60 seconds before you become unconscious due to lack of oxygen. If you try to help others first, you will be unconscious quickly and not help anyone; BUT if you put yours on first, you will be (potentially) able to help others. People who support/work in mental health love this metaphor as it is applicable to our everyday lives.
If you don’t take care of yourself, how can you help others?
My best friend, sister, and I send this text to each other, when we can sense a surplus of stress in the others’ lives. We can clearly see it in one other, but rarely in ourselves. So, how do you help/take care of yourself? The answer is easy, self-care.
Living in Cambodia is stressful in and of itself: a completely different culture, language, systems, etc, without added stressors of work schedule, family events, life. As I have been stressed and struggled through most of my time here, I reached out to people back home. Some wise women asked ‘what does your self-care look like?’ or ‘how are you taking care of yourself?’ Those are GREAT questions, but for awhile I had no answers because I did not understand self-care.
Self-care can and will look differently for everyone and sometimes it will depend on circumstances. I have learned running/exercising is a good self-care tool for me to help control anxiety and be an outlet for stress. I have also been known to get a manicure/pedicure or other spa treatment, or I draw/color/paint. Food, especially those yummy comfort foods, is an option for some people, but I have realized personally this can lead to many bad choices, so I am careful of how I rely on food to ease pain, stress, etc.
While self-care can seem a little too much ‘treat yourself’ like Tom Haverford in Parks and Recreation, our friend Tom was definitely onto something. It is important to take care of yourself to maintain physical and mental health. I feel like I have been doing a fairly good job of self-care lately, but it hasn’t seemed to be enough for me. I am still stressed and anxious, and I am sad. If you have been following my journey, you know I have lost several family members since moving to Cambodia. This week, I lost another one. I have done my best to grieve with all that is happening at home, but I have not been very successful. So, I am taking the next step in self-care – counseling.
I share this with you because I invited you to go on this journey with me, and I want to stay true to my word. My next step in this journey is counseling. In the next week, I will travel to Chiang Mai, Thailand to do a week or so of intensive counseling with a Christian counselor. I have given the counselor a brief summary of things I would like to work on during this time mainly grief and transition. I am tired of being in ‘survival’ mode. I know this is what is best for me at this time. My team/family in Cambodia have been very supportive of this as I will have to take time away from guesthouse and other responsibilities.
Please pray for my family as they experience another loss, pray for my team as they take on extra duties, and pray for me as I travel and attend sessions.
