I am back in Siem Reap, Cambodia. The past few weeks have been a whirlwind of a time. I posted a blog on Self-Care 20 days ago. Since then I have flown to Thailand, attended 6 counseling sessions, eaten lots of Mexican food, rested, hiked, experimented with watercolor and drawing, played with elephants, worked on self-care and feelings, and returned to Siem Reap.
Thailand was good. I was able to disconnect for awhile and re-focus on things, mainly myself and how I handle (or don’t handle) things in life. My friends took really good care of me, making sure I got where I needed, knew how to Grab (it’s like Uber), ate all the good Mexican food, and was doing okay. But most people probably want to know how counseling went. I won’t go too deeply into what all was discussed, but I feel more prepared. Prepared for things to come, for the continuing transition, to be back in Cambodia, for life. Before I had a vague idea of how to deal with emotions, feelings, and they way life comes at me; now I have tools to help figure out what I am feeling and how to process that.
I would love to share some of these with y’all so you can have some tools as well.
#1 The tool-belt
I learned more of what processing is and how I process best. I process best with art, which is crazy especially since my journal is full of bullet pointed thoughts. I am no artist by any means, but drawing something out and connecting a picture to how I am feeling helps – a lot. Maybe art is not right for you, but I encourage you to find your thing to help process life and all its complexities. (Processing: taking information and observances from the world around you and changing it to information your brain can understand. Definition provided by me. But this might be a good resource, http://www.willmeekphd.com/processing-emotions/) Maybe you need to write it all out in a journal to process it, maybe lacing up your shoes and running helps you, maybe it is art, singing, etc. Find something that works for YOU.
So figuring out what processing actually is and how to do it would be my tool-belt. But it is not just a belt for show, I have tools to fill it!
#2 Bi-Lateral Stimulation
Basically, a fancy word for tapping. Tapping is a tactical way to be brought back to the real world, at least that is how I see it. We did this in two ways: 1. Make a butterfly with your hands and place them over your heart, tap with the fingers on the right hand and then the fingers on the left hand while breathing deeply. 2. If you are in public and sitting, you can tap on your legs, almost like keeping a slow rhythm to a song and concentrate on breathing.
There are many other options for tapping, this is just what we worked on.
#3 A Safe Place
This is different for everyone. But I was asked to close my eyes and think of somewhere I felt safe. To keep my safe place safe, I won’t share it here but will help you create your own.
It can be a real or imaginary place. Fill in as much detail as possible about this place: what do you see, what do you smell, hear, taste, touch? Is anyone there? What are you wearing? Etc. Create this place you can go in your mind when you feel anxious. The more detail created, the easier it is to picture and ‘go to’ when you need it.
#4 Deep Breathing
I was so dizzy after doing this the first time. But it works and is so simple (most of these are, it is just remembering them when you need them.) You can close your eyes or keep them open, take a deep breath in through your nose (counting to 5), hold it for a few seconds, and slowly breathe out through your mouth (counting to 5 again.) Do this 3-5 times to relax and refocus.
#5 The Self-Care Wheel
If you know me, you know I love a diagram, so when my counselor gave me a handout with the Self-Care Wheel on it, I was super excited. After going around the wheel and underlining what I do or can do daily/weekly/monthly, I realized I am not doing so bad at this self-care thing. Good news, you are probably doing better than you think as well! This is not an end-all-be-all list but ideas to see what self-care can look like for some people. I would encourage you to look at this list and then maybe create your own self-care wheel of things you currently do or want to do in the future.
There are many more tools to fill a belt: encouraging friends and family, reading the Bible, church, and community are some I would choose. But the others are tangible tools that can be used. I have a few more sessions scheduled when I go back to Thailand for an organizational debrief/retreat in June.
If you have any ideas or tips on self-care and dealing with anxiety, I would love for you to share in a comment or private message.
Thank you for all your love, support, and prayers during this time.
I was totally on the thought of ‘Home Improvement’ while writing this, so for all the girls my age here is a picture of JTT:
